First time experiences. They are unique, they surprise and impact us. Either positive or negatives ones, they are sure remembered. And today, I had one. Any day is a good day to learn something new, and today I learned I can miss someone dearly even after months or years without doing so. I woke up to sudden nostalgia.
My eyes were filled with tears. I missed their kind words, their encouragement, their perspective for life…the good energy, the assurance of a prayer sent my way, the love that goes beyond boundaries. I missed the ones who have left only few months ago, and I missed the ones I have lost years ago. It was such an overwhelming experience. I asked myself, what was going wrong, gently.
After embracing the feeling, I stopped judging the situation and tried to do some inner soul search… I was getting ready for work, as always a bit late ,but there it was the expression of it all no matter what… tears about to fall, a heavy heart and a softer pace.
I realized I was missing their physical appearance, but I was so much missing how they covered me with those good vibes you know only some people in life have towards you; clean and pure, that comes like such a gift you haven’t even earned.
While I drove to work, those insistent tears went all the way out and then I was grateful that I could not remember clearly the last time I cried. That for sure was a good thing.
The heavy heart feeling keeps doing me company today. I feel humbled to feel the empty space, it kind of means, I have been loved profoundly. I have never missed them all together like today.