IMG_20121210_133718A year ago I was struggling with heartbreak and visiting a Starbucks was the first step of a 21 day countdown or 21 day challenge to create a new habit. This habit was very simple:  NOT CONTACTING MY EX BOYFRIEND. Those words were in caps lock in my mind and to be honest before that day I was not being very successful at it.Today, as went to a grab a coffee at the same location, I suddenly remembered I was there a year ago.  After receiving a well deserved two hour massage (physically and emotionally needed), I was starving and decided to stop by and complete my pampering session . I am not that good at remembering dates and things but every now and then it happens that I remember very specific events. This visit in particular reminded me of December 9th, 2012. I took the picture in this post that exact day.

I usually say I have a three month period of mourning when a relationship comes to an end and three days to cry in a row before looking great again. That is the deadline to myself. More than that is lost time in something not worth of my energy or as my mom has a great way of reminding it: “Do not cry over spilled milk”.

But this time it was more difficult. I was dumped when I knew I should have dumped him way before, and ego is awful company when someone else strikes before you do. Almost two years in a relationship that gets flushed by the toilet in 2o minutes (that is how long it took him to dump me) made me feel like shit. All pain and glory feels like a heavy burden inside yourself and worst of all, there is nothing to be done, except accept.

As part of my 21 day challenge I decided to write what I was feeling each day. I was in the roller coaster mode since the breakup and writing was a way of understanding myself. That day it read; ” I felt good with myself. I gave thanks to God and for today, because since today I am recognizing how He does changes in my life for good…” ( I looked at my email to verify, of course I didn’t remember that). Oh Lord and I didn’t even know what I was saying. I  thank Him everyday for that miracle called breakup.

So, a year ago I woke up with a goal in mind. I made an effort to park my car, order a coffee, sit alone and enjoy the moment, without pressure, without rush. I remember it was a breezy day, like today, and after all,  I was feeling pretty awesome.

I wrote for 10 more days. Some were happier days than others but after the 10th it didn’t feel necessary. I understood that love can’t be chased and I have never contacted my ex again.